We call them the “Wedding Wild Card Moments” because often at our events something unexpected happens. Recently, I was asked to describe my thoughts at the time of how I overcome a “problem” on location so, today we will revisit the Wedding Heckler, the Woeful Wedding Bouquet, Attack of the Arbor, the Meddling Mother, Bounced Check & Broken Tooth Bride and the Banjo Playing Boyfriend. At the time NONE of these moments were funny but, looking back they are hilarious!
Some of the things I’ve seen or heard these past five years has been a real “eye opener” for this Texas Twin with one adventure after the other including (the Broken Toothed Bride) Bounced Checks & Broken Teeth Bride who supposedly paid me $75 to officiate her wedding AND provide photography. What was the problem? Well, first her deposit of $37.50 check bounced and the remaining balance was never paid. I arrived on site with my associate Ann Rowe Alexander to handle the photography and after locating the bride to advise her of the bounced check and balance owed was instead stuck with fixing her front tooth using my emergency kit super glue. No, I can’t “make this shit up!” Five years in the industry will make a fairly interesting and hilarious book titled “Travels of the Texas Twins.”
Twinning With Two Sets Of Twins- The Pawning Planners is a hilarious blog detailing a few road trips and rest areas along with an interesting journey my family joined me on to provide anyone regardless of their income an opportunity for a wedding, anniversary, baptism, house blessing, pawning party, estate liquidation, birthday party or any other type of event by taking trades through my sister site We Take Trades! Submit Yours Today With The Pawning Planners!Rebranding myself over and over to create affordable options for families with nowhere else to turn has never been EASY or INEXPENSIVE for me. After my son’s wedding that gave me a clue regarding the expense for families and making all of the Centerpieces, bridal bouquet, bouteniers, corsages, maid of honor, senior bridesmaids, junior bridesmaids and everything else myself in order to cut costs and save money- I decided to start a low cost wedding services & ceremonies business myself- Low Cost Wedding Officiants, Photography & Party Planning- Texas Twins Events!
When you are dealing with low to middle class consumers- you had better buckle up because we often have a “bumpy ride!”
Joanna Magee (The Wedding Heckler) came to me with NOTHING- no wedding dress, no wedding shoes, no cowboy hats for her son’s, no money and NO TRADE. I offered to loan her a $400 wedding dress from David’s Bridal “to borrow” for her wedding. I bought her two cowboy hats, wedding necklace, wedding earrings and wedding shoes and even drove her to the park myself for her wedding. The “Wedding Heckler” blog is based entirely on her family who allowed her brother to bully myself and my staff and thankless thugs that they were- forget to thank us for everything we had done for their daughter including loaning all of the wedding bouquets and bouteniers from MY INVENTORY.
That’s right- I created an inventory of floral designs, cake platters, photography equipment, and everything else needed at an event Out of my own pocket to overcome issues of families unable to afford such luxuries themselves.
Now, when items are stolen on location or damaged from being thrown around, I naturally get upset because I have to repair or replace the item myself. Often, people think they can keep my inventory simply because I loaned it to them. If you didn’t pay for something- you absolutely are NOT going to keep it! I have revised my contracts for Texas Twins Events and The Pawning Planners to include a “Borrowing Promise” that if you do not return my property- I will not sign your license until you do.
My husband and I don’t take “nice vacations” because I invest everything I have in an inventory to provide families who can’t afford these items the opportunity to borrow mine. Nobody in this industry does that except me.
The Wedding & Events Industry has taught me to think on my toes and 60-70% off my client base “Borrow my Inventory.” Rebranding wasn’t easy, I had to continually find ways to help these families by first offering low cost services, then taking trades, then refurbishing the trades, then selling the trades to recover expenses.
I’m often asked what percentage of my client base is LBGT and the answer is 40-50%. What percentage are ethnic? Approximately 20-30%. We are strong supporters of the LBGT community and, loyalty is important to are LBGT client base who refer my family and I to their friends which is why that number is so high. We believe that Love is Love so for all of the haters out there- be advised that speaking in derogatory terms regarding other clients is the best way for me to suggest finding another vendor. You won’t find anyone anywhere willing to provide you with all of the “extras” that I offer including low cost photography and if you can’t afford a photographer- free photography! That’s right, I do what no one else will so, if you have issues with my client base- please find another vendor and save us both a lot of time! For those of you who hired another vendor, loaned inventory and complimentary photography are at “Wendy Wortham’s Discretion And For BOOKED CLIENTS ONLY.” This message is on every Wendy Wortham Website.
The Banjo Playing Boyfriend is a blog I wrote after the boyfriend realized I wasn’t going to offer an “objection.” Wendy Wortham & The Banjo Playing Boyfriend. A guest ruining my carefully orchestrated ceremony is even worse than an inlaw or outlaw.
Why do we call ourselves the Wedding Warriors? Well friend we don’t have an “easy button” to fix a problem on site. We only have each other to rely on and I believe it was my son who came up with the term. Meet The Pawning Planners- Two Sets of Twins!
A history of floral design was helpful on location during the “Woeful Wedding Bouquet” incident. The Bride had laid her bouquet on a balcony above the port a cache (circle drive) and the cake delivery guy ran over it. Hysterics all around me, I lined up the bridal party and asked for lace panties. For those of you wondering why, I used the lace to hot glue the bouquet and add “lift.” Believe it or not, that bouquet looked better AFTER I fixed it than it had BEFORE.
The “Attack of the Arbor” Incident occured during the wedding ceremony and landed on the parents and grandparents who were seated. I stopped mid ceremony to ensure everyone was okay and then took my place at the altar. Weddings are not a time to show panic or surprise baby!
“The Meddling Mother” Incident involved a father drinking at the rehearsal in order to tolerate his ex wife continuing to interrupt the rehearsal and who was later arrested for drunk driving when leaving. Had the mother sat down and shut up, that poor man would have been able to attend the wedding. Inlaws and Outlaws are the relatives you gain at a wedding and the relatives you wish you weren’t gaining at a wedding!
I hope this blog adequately describes why some of my blogs are serious and a few of them- silly!
Wendy M Wortham