Well, it’s another Mothers Day Weekend and as usual our three adult children can’t agree on anything to do to celebrate with my twin, my nieces or I. We have bookings Friday & Saturday but Sunday is still unplanned. Blended Families can often be a “concoction of chaos.”
Since my son married Stephanie Hafele, his relationship with both of his cousins has suffered.
Stephanie was raised as an only child by her grandmother and can’t understand why our family is “always together.” She prefers to do things with “her family” that I often refer to as a band of gypsies.
Why? Well, her father has had 7 dui’s and her cousins have been in and out of jail for one thing or another for as long as I’ve known her.
Her mother (who gave her up) loves to butt in and berate my son and I’ve learned that that “band of hooligans” often push off their problem children on my sons household.
Time and time again- one of “Stephanie’s relatives” have moved into their home and become squatters that I force my son to kick to the curb.
HafeleHouse would easily become a HalfWay House if it were up to my daughter in law. I’ve yet to visit and not find 1-3 of her “relatives” living at their home.
I have no idea how my son who spent his entire childhood in a well kept home has adjusted to never finding a pair of clean socks and wonder if he ever has a decent meal waiting at the end of a long day.
Any “advice” I give my son regarding bums moving in or taking advantage of his kind heart are often met with an eye roll.
My twin sister often has “plenty to say” about my daughter in law herself. Many of her #Cindyism Quotes used on Pawning Planners Apparel are often based on our own families. Now and then, our Latest Little Pawner Madyson Blais gives us the “perfect look” for #Cindyism Quotes.
Of course our family often miss that Cindy is talking about them. Since many wonder if my millions of subscribers to blogs include our children-no they never read my blogs on this site, Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners or Texas Twins Treasures either.
Ironically, everyone else around the world reads our blogs except our own families!
I will never know why her family think they are better than ours.
The “latest incident” involves a truck we took in trade through The Pawning Planners for a family reunion last year that I gave to Stephanie after she wrecked (yet another) vehicle. Stephanie loses her phone all of the time. Her car keys too. Stephanie is often unorganized. Stephanie never worries about the expense of a car wreck or lost phone because my son or her grandmother “fix it” for her.
Stephanie has had 6 accidents throughout the marriage to my son and I’m sure there will be another but the truck situation has come back to bite them after Stephanie sold it to one of her cousins who didn’t bother changing the title or registering the vehicle.
A few months after selling the truck to Patrick, toll fees & tickets amounting to over $6k in Stephanie’s name arrived at their home in the form of a lawsuit filed by the State of Texas. This “truck mess” is 100% Patrick’s problem and trusting someone to transfer a title falls on the seller not the buyer.
Since we barter cars, trucks, tractors, trailers and more-I know the “process” involved to clear yourself from liability when selling a vehicle or any item that has a state issued license plate but first you need to remove the plates from a registered and licensed vehicle, boat, motorcycle or trailer.
Selling anything that can operate on a road or freeway without “covering your ass” will cost you money! The buyer can keep on trucking through red lights and toll roads for your failure to get a vehicle out of your name.
The red truck video is actually on my sister site for The Pawning Planners under “We take cars, boats, trucks, houses. You name it we will consider it!”Bartering Event Services-The Pawning Planners. My son shot the video and subsequent “deal” on a barter.
This latest “incident” from her family comes shortly after her cousin Patrick (yes, it’s the same Patrick) broke out a panel glass window at my sons home while fighting with his pregnant girlfriend and living (rent free) at my sons home.
My son “shouldered the expense of repairing that window” since Patrick and his pregnant girlfriend didn’t have jobs or a way to pay for the damage they caused at my sons home.
It’s not enough that Stephanie just moves her relatives in because they often bring their girlfriends or boyfriends too! It’s been going on far too long and the more I complain-the more it continues to happen.
After the “Patrick window incident,” I had a strong talk with my son and told him you can’t run a home like an animal shelter moving every stray in and paying all of their bills while paying for everything they damage to boot! My son is the nice guy who continues to finish last because “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.”
I’m the reason that Patrick and his pregnant girlfriend were kicked out because I couldn’t take any more of this drama and my exhausted son had posted a few FB Bitstrips that I was alarmed about.
My son won’t agree to having children with Stephanie yet because he is most likely up for twins and because Stephanie has spent their entire marriage moving her relatives in with them. Patrick has lived with them over 9 times in the last 6 years.
I worry about the stress levels my son must deal with and agree that adding children to the HafeleHouse “mix” isn’t a good idea.
A few weeks ago, he called me regarding kicking out his stepsister Brianna. Apparently, Brianna and Stephanie were fighting over anything and everything including Stephanie’s deadbeat friends or relatives who weren’t paying any rent!
Since Brianna was paying rent-she had a real problem with Stephanie moving in her cousin Kathy and her boyfriend who didn’t have a job.
I was unaware of all of this until Brianna came to my house and “unloaded” the drama once again going on at my sons house.
Stephanie kicked Brianna out of their 4 bedroom 3 bath home but kept her cousin Kathy & her boyfriend along with her school days friend, Narro.
I told my son that kicking out someone who is paying rent to keep 3 roommates that weren’t was stupid and told him to “clean house!” Two days later, the circus at my sons home continues.
It’s not just the revolving door of relatives that causes conflict. Stephanie wants to spend every holiday with her family.
Stephanie thinks she is “better at everything” than my nieces, my twin or even me. Stephanie loves to argue and get her point or view across from everything and anything including politics.
My ongoing arguments with a daughter in law continue to shock and surprise me. Trying to “force my family” to get along at events and get togethers is impossible even for someone who is very good at conflict resolution.Last weekend my niece Leigh Ann backed out of a wedding when she found out my daughter in law was joining my son at the event.
The end result was an argument on location between my son and his wife along with horrible photos that were so dark that I spent three hours attempting to edit them. Had my son not accidentally deleted his wife’s photos, maybe she would’ve taken better reception photos? I will never know but I know this–arguing among my team on location is strictly prohibited!
On rare occasions, I’m successful at making my nieces and daughter in law “get along” but it’s a rare occurence.Our GrandTwins get along well with Stephanie and the only “chili stirring” apparently comes from my nieces, me or our husbands. Robert & Stephanie argue constantly but call these ongoing battles “communicating.”
I’m going to have to help Stephanie with a lawsuit that her cousin Patrick dumped into her lap regarding the red truck.
I’ve advised my son to never allow Patrick to move in again too. Trying to give “tips” on running their household often gets me into hot water with my son.
I cried at his wedding because I wearily knew that my family were marrying into Stephanie’s family and there would be no turning back. I was right.
Years later, Inlaws & Outlaws we’ve met along the way will never hold a candle to the Inlaws & Outlaws I met at my sons wedding.My son became far more “serious” after his wedding. His smile that took three sets of braces to make beautiful became hidden with frowns. Is he truly happy? Did marriage “complete” him? I wonder if his wife truly makes him happy or makes his life a living Hell.
Being married to someone spoiled isn’t easy. Putting your spouse above your own needs all of the time can’t be satisfying but my son married because he didn’t want to be alone. He left a beautiful home full of love and traded it for a house full of chaos. You can’t choose who your children marry.
Our husbands are rarely in photographs because they are rarely at family events. Why? They can’t handle the drama of having ALL of our children, their spouses and our grandchildren at the same place. They’ve seen the arguments and competition. They prefer to do things with us and our Little Pawners.Our family photos all “look happy” because we have to work at getting along and it’s not always easy. The adult children are fiercely competitive with each other.
Reinforcing the importance of a close family relationship can be challenging when your child married someone who doesn’t value the importance of getting along.
My niece Stephaney Mahaney is dating someone and planning to marry him although she knows we aren’t thrilled about it. The twins don’t like him and our husbands aren’t thrilled about another “newcomer” either but we can’t “change what’s coming!”
Stephaney’s fiancée Arthur doesn’t bother trying to get along with Leigh Ann. They’ve been butting heads for five months and my niece calls him Meathead.
Yesterday when Leigh Ann had a blowout on the freeway, my sister suggested calling Arthur to help. Leigh Ann said “I would rather die than ask that dipshit for help!” She meant it.
Stephaney thought inviting Leigh Ann to dinner with Arthur would “fix things.” It didn’t. Leigh Ann hates Arthur and has successfully turned the twins against him for “stealing their moms attention.”
Arthur is trying far too hard to “be a family” with the twins. They don’t need or want a father since our entire family have “stood in” for the missing parents all of their lives.
They have never lived outside my sister’s home and have no desire to build a relationship with Arthur. My niece has tried to “build a family” with Arthur but our family isn’t interested.
I’ve suggested starting a new family because the twins consider my sister and I to be their moms and our husbands to be their dads. They have no plans to change their lives because “Arthur came along.”
Trying to keep every event or get together without chaos will never be easy but we continue to try and keep peace…another Mothers Day another chance to make our kids get along.
Wendy M Wortham