Every year my son and his wife “make the rounds” during the holidays. Divorced parents each want their children at their home but the strain on the children from inlaws and outlaws can make the holidays stressful on the children well into adulthood.Yesterday, I met my cousin, Cynthia Dickson at Walmart to buy Thanksgiving Dinner for my family in Gordon because my Aunt had been in the hospital after suffering a heart attack and recovering from a double bypass. I wanted to do something special for my family and share some time with my cousin.
Cindy and I are so excited to have Leigh Ann and her baby, Madyson Elizabeth Blais home for the holidays and while Cindy took Leigh Ann shopping- I took Cynthia and her children to lunch after our Walmart adventure.
For years Cindy and I have travelled to Gordon the day after Thanksgiving and the day after Christmas. My Aunt is somewhat of a surrogate mother to these two sets of Texas Twins and we’ve grown up with our three cousins. Cynthia is divorced and has three children so we discussed “splitting up” her kids for the holidays and the stress it puts on the families while buying the holiday favorites.As my Aunt Shirley Dickson awaited being released from Harris Hospital, I told Cynthia that “house hopping every holiday” is exhausting and that I had given up arguing about who my son was spending the holidays with. She asked how I did this without being upset about it and I told her that being the “easygoing parent” made the holidays far more enjoyable for me. Stephanie Hafele has divorced parents and was raised by her grandmother so effectively, she has a “three holiday home route” every year with my son. My son often sees his fathers side of the family at his grandparents house for the holidays but, now that he’s married, joins Stephanie on the “circuit.” This year we have young “Maddy” Blais home for the holidays with Leigh Ann but her father, Alex Blais is back on the Naval Base in Washington which will make the holiday bittersweet for Leigh Ann. All families make adjustments and many are alone this holiday season. The Rainbow Lounge is serving Thanksgiving Dinner all day long for their clients who have nowhere to go. I’m thankful that my Aunt is home for the holidays and I’m thankful that I had the time and the income to make the season brighter by helping buy holiday meals for my Aunt and Cousins as well as helping several other struggling families.
Having my son and his wife drop by is always nice but if they don’t have time, I’m not going to be upset about it and after talking with Cynthia regarding inlaws and outlaws- she agrees that whether her children are with her or their father, holidays for divorced families can be “tricky.” But, by being open minded, family fueding can be something of the past that doesn’t get in the way of your future.
Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours….